Monday, October 11, 2010

13 Wildly Irresponsible Vintage Ads Aimed at Kids: #1. Cocaine Isn't Just for Daddy Anymore

 

OK, maybe we're being a little unfair here. Sure, we know cocaine is bad for kids now. But they didn't know back in 1885 when this ad ran. Just like they didn't know that TV rots your brain back when Motorola claimed that TV was a magical learning box ...
 
 

Hell, we're just now learning the evils of corn syrup. How should they know not to run an ad specifically telling you to feed babies 7 Up ...
 
 

... or just straight corn syrup.

 

But that doesn't mean that they were worse parents. They still obviously loved their kids, just like parents today. Well, unless the kid's slovenly disregard for her figure was disgracing the family. Then all bets were apparently off ...




 


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29 comments:

  1. tortacularOctober 11, 2010 at 5:46 PM

    kewl post here.

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  2. The Square CircleOctober 11, 2010 at 6:28 PM

    cocaine. for kids. i love the horror.

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  3. -ITW-October 11, 2010 at 6:40 PM

    lol @ all of these especially the cocaine one.

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  4. Cpt PownzorOctober 11, 2010 at 8:30 PM

    cocaine is a hell of a drug

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  5. WillowOctober 11, 2010 at 9:55 PM

    7up used to be laced with lithium....

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  6. SC2 StratsOctober 11, 2010 at 10:28 PM

    hahahaha great ads.

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  7. dolan duckOctober 12, 2010 at 12:04 AM

    Are these photoshoped? Theres no way advertiser's would spend that much money for that to be the result.

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  8. Primarch SolyeuseOctober 12, 2010 at 1:21 AM

    Oh, past advertisements, you make us all look like such morons.

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  9. la comédieOctober 12, 2010 at 2:46 AM

    great post

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  10. Joe FlanneryOctober 12, 2010 at 2:47 AM

    These were so good I especially liked the first two.

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  11. CrunkyOctober 12, 2010 at 2:57 AM

    Instantaneous cure!

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  12. LongkidOctober 12, 2010 at 4:18 AM

    I love all your post's!

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  13. TrimputesOctober 12, 2010 at 4:35 AM

    Lol it's both terrible and awesome at the same time. Legalise cocaine drops! Haha :P

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  14. ElChristoOctober 12, 2010 at 5:14 AM

    cocaines a hell of a drug...

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  15. AnonymousOctober 12, 2010 at 6:59 AM

    Awesome post!

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  16. Barry WhiteOctober 12, 2010 at 7:22 AM

    Great post!

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  17. loveblogginOctober 12, 2010 at 7:37 AM

    lol great stuff

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  18. hungrrOctober 12, 2010 at 8:44 AM

    I need some corn syrup for lunch

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  19. The Lazy GeographerOctober 12, 2010 at 8:50 AM

    They still use cocaine as a topical anesthetic for sinus surgery. It's scheduled as a C2. High potential for misuse and addiction but has acceptable medical use.

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  20. njohnfixesOctober 12, 2010 at 9:22 AM

    Is that a good price for cocaine? I mean, am I paying too much? 15 cents damn...

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  21. momoOctober 12, 2010 at 10:32 AM

    those were the days...

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  22. Pope SmurfOctober 12, 2010 at 11:24 AM

    Yay, cocaine for kids!!

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  23. AsherOctober 12, 2010 at 1:38 PM

    Oh Cocaine... is there anything you CAN'T do?

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  24. BubblesOctober 12, 2010 at 1:38 PM

    goddamn i love cocaine

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  25. OneLessSaneOctober 12, 2010 at 3:09 PM

    I'm still trying to figure out that last one...and obviously the media-making-girls-anorexic thing is older than some people want to give credit for.

    Is the ad saying the kid doesn't give a shit if she has to wear ugly-ass clothes 'cause she's not a size 2? Or is it supposed to be more "I want cute clothes, I don't care where you get them from or how much of a bitch they are to find!"

    Seriously though, I wanna beat over the head whoever saw that kid and said, "Oh, she's chubby! Let's put her in one of our ads for chubby kids clothes!"

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  26. gloseyOctober 12, 2010 at 3:16 PM

    i love this

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  27. AimlessTendenciesOctober 12, 2010 at 3:18 PM

    I still use cocaine toothache drops once in a while...

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  28. indiecolaOctober 13, 2010 at 3:35 PM

    Very interesting. my teeth hurt

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  29. ilikeicecreamOctober 13, 2010 at 7:25 PM

    cocaine toothache drops XD thats awesome

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